Alice in Queryland

It’s funny how sometimes life can just stop you in your tracks.  I‘ve learned that rejection can definitely creep into your head and—if you’re not extremely careful—begin defining your days and commanding your nights. I began believing that not only was my book lousy, but any new ideas I had for books were also lame and I would never get a novel published.

I suspect my experience has a lot to do with my, at times, debilitating perfectionism. I’ve had problems with it in the past and overcame it quite nicely. I just need to remember what worked then and then do that again. Right?

Years ago I was working at a state institution in Texas and I had to collect various data on a weekly basis and then present everything graphically and precisely.  All of my work was then reviewed by the Data Nazi and reported back to me by percent completed and percent correct. No matter how hard I worked I could never get 100%. At some point I decided that I was never going to get 100% and it was stupid to try. In fact, my new plan was to deliberately not get 100%. Every week I would “forget” at least one thing or miscalculate some data. I know this sounds weird, but for me it was liberating. Not having to strive for perfection made for a much happier me. I have to do my best and then just sort of let go of it.

I’ve just barely started querying my first book—I’ve sent out fewer than 30 queries—and after 18 rejections I just stopped. I felt like if I couldn’t even get one request then I was just fooling myself. Everyone says just keep trying: tweak your query letter and get back out there. About this time I had a death in my family. I definitely needed some time off.

So now I’ve recovered on some level. I’m reworking my query, contemplating changing my title and getting ready to hold my breath and jump straight into the rabbit-hole again.       

                        Wish me luck.